Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Which door

The first career I can remember wanting was to be a mountain climber. I thought this would be the ideal career for me. I was excellent at climbing trees and loved being outside. I thought for the longest time that China was located on the other side of the mountains surrounding our town. I'm not sure how I put that together but I think I truly believed the other side of the earth was just beyond our backyard view. Good thing I didn't try to hike there, I would have been disappointed to find it was only more farms and fields for miles.

My sister was the one who first put doubt in my mind about the profession of climbing mountains by telling me only mom would be willing to pay me to climb anything and I couldn't live on that kind of money.
I think she was probably right and I no longer think I could be a professional mountain climber now. In fact earlier tonight I carried the laundry up 3 flights of stairs and my lungs felt like they might explode, it was quite a climb.

After my climbing interest faded I decided I would be a writer. I even purchased the world's heaviest typewriter at a yard sale. I loved the giant old thing even though it was missing the letter E. I decided that I could do without it. I have the first completed book I think I ever wrote titled The Orange Horse, two slightly different versions are located on a shelf in my living room. I don't know if I've completed a full work of fiction since.

I also went through a short phase of wanting to be a massage therapist but that didn't work out. I'm still not sure what it is I would like to spend my days doing to pay the bills. I think my dream job would be sewing items for sale or designing a line of fabrics. I don't know if thats something I'll ever get to do full time but I hope someday I'll be excited to get up in the morning and start work rather than start dreading it the night before.

I spent a little over 3 hours applying to jobs this morning. I really hope I get a call for an interview this week. I better get to sleep so I can be refreshed for eternal hell.. I mean work in the morning.

+ video games
+ clean laundry
+ staying up late

Friday, July 25, 2008

Did you check under the bed?

For as long as I can remember I've been great at misplacing things. Even the really important items like my keys, wallet, and pets. They all seem to vanish before my eyes and I immediately slip into panic mode.

Some of my most memorable loses include the time I left my purse purched on top of fabric bolts at JoAnn fabrics two days before I was to move cross country. I searched for hours while sweating more than I ever have in my life. I think I lost 12 lbs that night.

My abillity to lose is something I've believe has been passed down from my parents. I have many memories of helping to search the garbage for that irreplaceable piece of mail or running through the neighbors' yards hoping to run into our dog who decided to take himself for a walk. Even calling home when I realized that my parents forgot me after church.

Today I yet again managed to misplace a very important check. I was on my way to work and doing the usual throw things into my bag while putting on shoes and eating lunch routine when I thought I safely secured a place for the check in my GIANT bag.

On my way down the hill for some reason I decided to dig the check out of my stuff and realized it was gone. I fantically searched my bag even kneeling down on the sidewalk to remove all 30 of the items in my bag and still no check. I decided I wouldn't be able to continue my trip to work until I figured out where the hell I put it. So I ran back up the hill to search my apartment which resulted in nothing.

Finally I decided to call home and let my mom know I lost the birthday check because I am incapable of safely transporting money to the bank and should be killed. Moments after I called my mom she called me back to tell me that someone had found my check!

A wonderfully kind person who works at the hospital beside my apartment building met me in the lobby and gave me the check. The wonderful check finding angel had even gone to the trouble to google my parents due to the fact that my parents don't even have their phone number on it because they hate calls from strangers especially during meals.

It made my day that someone was so kind to return it. Now I just have to hope that all my cats are still in the apartment when I get home.

+ sunny Friday afternoons
+ m&m yogurt
+ nice people

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Buttered toast jelly beans with wine

There is a lot in my life right now that isn't that great.

Yet at the end of the day I get to fall asleep in a bed full of cats and under the covers with someone who I could watch TV with well into my 90s. In that moment things seem wonderful.

I have the day off from work tomorrow because it is my birthday and I decided I wouldn't spoil the day with working. The thought of getting to spend the day doing whatever I want and maybe even eating cake really makes me happy.

I always think back on my birthdays as I'm sure most people do, of everything that has changed over the last year. This year there is a lot of new crap. Its unbelievable to think just a year ago I was living in an empty apartment and had only been in Seattle a few months. Time does fly.

+ red wine
+ library book smell
+ sofia
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